By Stevera Ununuma, Department of Mass Communication, MIVAS University
In today’s world, many young people struggle with something that is often not spoken about openly—the fear of being their true selves. Behind smiles, stylish clothes, and fun social media posts, many teenagers are quietly dealing with insecurity, pressure, loneliness, and self-doubt. Because of this, many have learned to pretend. They pretend to be confident when they are not, happy when they feel sad, and strong when they are actually struggling inside.
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This habit of pretending often comes from fear. Many young people are afraid of being judged or rejected. Some hide their intelligence so they are not called “too serious.” Others hide their talents because they fear criticism. Some even hide their emotions because they believe showing feelings means weakness. Over time, they begin to live like different versions of themselves, depending on what they think people want to see.
Social media has made this problem even stronger. Online platforms often show only perfect pictures, fun moments, and “ideal” lifestyles. When young people constantly see this, they begin to compare their lives with others. This comparison can make them feel “not good enough,” even when they are doing well. Slowly, they begin to hide their true selves in order to fit in.
Many young people also depend too much on likes, comments, and followers to feel valuable. When people praise them online, they feel happy. But when they do not get attention, they feel invisible. This kind of validation is not stable, and it can make a person’s confidence weak over time.
Fear is another strong reason young people pretend. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and fear of being laughed at can stop them from trying new things. Some students have amazing ideas but remain silent in class. Others avoid opportunities because they are afraid of making mistakes. In this way, many dreams are never fully explored.
The need to belong also plays a big role. Everyone wants to be accepted. Because of this, some young people change their behaviour, style, or interests just to fit into a group. They may pretend to like things they do not enjoy or hide their real personality just to avoid being left out. But in doing so, they slowly lose touch with who they really are.
School environments can also influence this behaviour. Some students feel they are not smart, attractive, or talented enough compared to others. Others carry emotional or financial struggles but hide them behind smiles. Instead of speaking up, they act like everything is fine, even when it is not.
Friendships can either help or worsen the situation. True friends make people feel safe and accepted. In such friendships, there is no need to pretend. But when friendships are based on popularity or appearance, young people often feel pressured to maintain an image instead of being real.
Family life also has a strong impact. Children who grow up in homes where they are constantly criticised, compared, or ignored may struggle with confidence. They may learn to hide their true feelings. On the other hand, supportive families help children feel safe, loved, and confident enough to be themselves.
All of this can affect mental health. Pretending all the time can be exhausting. It can lead to stress, anxiety, sadness, and confusion about identity. Many young people feel lonely even when they are surrounded by others because no one truly sees the real them.
However, there is hope. Young people need to understand that they are enough as they are. No one is perfect, and everyone is still learning. Social media often shows only the best parts of people’s lives, not the full story. Comparing your real life with someone else’s “highlight reel” can be unfair to yourself.
A better society is one where young people feel safe to be real. Parents, teachers, friends, and communities all have a role to play in creating spaces where honesty is welcomed, not judged. Encouragement, kindness, and understanding can help young people feel more confident in who they are.
In the end, pretending may help someone feel accepted for a short time, but it cannot bring real peace. True confidence comes when a person accepts themselves, grows at their own pace, and stops living only for approval from others.
The world does not need more perfect masks. It needs more real, honest, and confident young people.
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