By Ige Olumuyiwa, Facilitator, Lagooz Schools
Who doesn’t love to be praised? Whether it is your teacher congratulating you on a good test score, your parents celebrating your achievements or your friends telling you that you are talented, praise feels good. It makes you feel noticed, appreciated and valued. However, problems can arise when you become so used to praise that you depend on it to feel good about yourself.
When praise becomes pressure
Praise is good, but constantly needing people to tell you how brilliant, talented or special you are can become a problem. You may begin to do things just to impress others rather than because they are right or because you genuinely enjoy them.
Imagine being known as the best student in your class. Everyone expects you to come first, and you are used to hearing how intelligent you are. Then, one day, you fail a difficult examination. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to learn, you feel ashamed, disappointed, or afraid that people will no longer respect you.
This is what happens when praise becomes an expectation you are afraid of failing to meet.
You don’t have to be the best at everything
Social media can make this pressure worse. You see people showing off their achievements, talents, and successes, and you begin to wonder whether you are doing enough with your own life.
The truth is that you do not have to be the smartest person in your class, the best athlete on your team or the most popular student in school to be valuable.
You are allowed to make mistakes, ask questions, struggle with difficult subjects and learn at your own pace. These experiences do not make you a failure. They are part of growing up.
Value effort, not just applause
Instead of living for compliments, learn to appreciate your own progress. Be proud when you study hard, help someone in need, admit your mistakes or keep trying after a disappointment.
Accept praise graciously, but also learn to accept correction without feeling that your worth has diminished. Genuine confidence is not about believing that you are better than everyone else. It is about knowing that you have value while recognising that there is always something new to learn.
Your takeaway
Never allow praise to become a cage that prevents you from trying new things or admitting when you need help. You do not need to prove your worth every day. You do not have to win every competition or meet everyone’s expectations.
Be grateful for encouragement, learn from criticism, and keep working towards becoming a better version of yourself. Remember, your worth is not measured by how often people applaud you but by the person you are becoming, even when nobody is watching.
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