By Ganiyu Feranmi
Most people often think I am the kind of person that is easy to socialise with. Well, I was not born like this. Before I gained admission to Shining Star College Kubwa—because I was a long way from home—having been catapulted to a boarding school in Lagos, I always recoiled to my shell. While at boarding school, it was difficult to socialise with other people. It wasn’t really about my new-found environment, far from it. It wasn’t also because of language barriers, at least I’m of Yoruba descent; it was just a natural feeling, although I fought hard to try to battle it off, trying so hard to fit in somehow.
As a shy guy, I, most of the time, stayed quiet in groups. I’d sit all by myself, watching others easily talk and laugh and I would feel left out. I wanted to be a part of the discussion, but I didn’t know how to start. My mind would always tell me “don’t talk with them, just listen,” and I would get nervous thinking about it. I started avoiding social situations because I didn’t feel confident enough to join in. It felt like everyone else knew how to make friends, and I was the only one who was left out.
Then I realised that the more I tried to socialise the more I began to be cool with friends. Then I thought to myself that making friends wasn’t about being the funniest; it’s about getting involved in discussions and adding your two cents, about trying to identify with your peers because you share the same aptitudes, values or standards. As time passed by, I noticed a change in myself—I wasn’t the quiet boy anymore. People started to see me as someone they could warm up to.
I appreciate having a great sister who helped and supported me when I needed it the most—even when I resisted, she insisted—and that really helped me come out of my shell. Now I can boast of being approachable, boast of starting conversations and that makes me feel highly elated. My sister’s words will always ring a bell in my head at all times: people are not as scary as you think—the right ones will accept you—you just have to be yourself.
Ganiyu is of Shining Star Group of Schools, Kubwa – Abuja
