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Executive functioning: What it is, what it isn’t — and how to survive when yours feels on holiday

by
🏷️ TeenXtra

By Asma’u Yusuf – The teacher  with the loud voice.

Let’s start with a confession many adults won’t make out loud:

A lot of intelligent, creative, kind people struggle not because they are lazy or unserious but because their executive functioning is doing its own thing.

If you’ve ever said:

‘I know what to do; I just can’t start.’

‘I studied… but my brain went blank.’

‘I swear I tried; I just forgot.’

‘I’m always rushing even when I plan ahead.”

‘Why does this seem easy for everyone else?’

Please pause. You are not broken. You are describing executive functioning.

So… what is executive functioning?

Think of executive functioning as the brain’s management team.

If your brain were a school, executive functioning would be the principal. 

The timetable, the prefect system, the bell, the planner, the reminder that says ‘hey, start now’, the voice that says ‘slow down and check your work’

It helps you start tasks, plan and organise, manage time, remember instructions, control impulses, shift between tasks, regulate emotions, stay focused, and finish what you start.

It’s not intelligence. It’s not motivation. It’s not morality.  It’s management.

What Executive Functioning Is NOT

Let’s clear the air.

Executive functioning struggles are not laziness, lack of discipline, disrespect, stupidity, bad upbringing, ‘not being serious about life’, spiritual weakness, attitude problems, etc.

You can be brilliant and still struggle. You can be hard-working and still feel disorganised. You can care deeply and still forget.

Many high-achieving people, including doctors, artists, engineers, and entrepreneurs, struggle with executive functioning.

How do I know if I’m struggling with it?

You don’t need a label to notice patterns. Ask yourself gently:

You might struggle with executive functioning if you often:

Know what to do but can’t get started

Start strong, then lose momentum

Underestimate how long tasks take

Forget homework, deadlines, r materials

Feel overwhelmed by ‘simple’ instructions

Avoid tasks until panic kicks in

Work best under pressure (but hate the stress)

Lose things often

Jump between tasks

Struggle to prioritise

Feel mentally tired even when you haven’t done much

Get emotional quickly when overwhelmed

Hear ‘try harder’ a lot

If several of these sound familiar, you’re not alone — and you’re not failing.

You’re describing a skills gap, not a character flaw.

Why this matters, especially for teens

Your brain is still under construction.

The part responsible for executive functioning—the prefrontal cortex—is one of the last areas to fully mature. For many people, it continues developing into the mid-20s.

So yes, you’re expected to act grown while your brain is still wiring itself.

That’s not weakness. That’s biology.

Add pressure, comparison, social media, exams, expectations, noise, and little rest — and of course things feel hard.

So… What can you actually do about it?

Let’s get practical.

1. Externalise your brain

If your brain won’t organise things internally, put the structure outside of it.

Try:

written to-do lists

phone reminders

alarms

colour-coded notebooks

checklists

sticky notes

planners

voice notes

This is not cheating. It’s support.

2. Break tasks until they look almost silly

Instead of:

Study Biology

Try:

open notebook

write the date.

read 1 page

underline key words

Stop. Momentum comes after starting.

3. Work with time, not against it

Use:

10–25 minute focus blocks

short breaks

visible timers

Your brain likes clear beginnings and endings.

4. Reduce decision fatigue

Wear similar clothes. Study in the same place. Use routines. Decide once, not every day.

Less thinking = more energy.

5. Ask for support (without sounding rude or entitled)

This part matters a lot.

Advocating for yourself is not disrespect. It’s a life skill.

Here are polite, mature ways to explain your struggles to teachers:

Option 1: Gentle and respectful

Sir/Ma’am, I try hard to keep up, but I struggle with organising my work and managing time. I’m working on it and would really appreciate guidance on how to improve.

Option 2: Honest but calm

I understand the work, but I sometimes struggle to start or finish tasks on time. I’m learning strategies to manage this better and wanted to let you know.

Option 3: Asking for practical support

Would it be okay if I got reminders or clearer steps for assignments? It helps me perform better.

Option 4: If you feel overwhelmed

I want to do well in your class, but I sometimes get overwhelmed and shut down. I’m trying to learn better ways to manage this.

That is not rudeness. That is self-awareness.

Good teachers respect effort and honesty.

 Important Reminder (Please Read Slowly)

Struggling with executive functioning does not mean you are lazy. It means your brain needs different tools.

You are not behind. You are not defective. You are not disappointing anyone by needing support.

You are learning how you work — and that knowledge will serve you for life.

Book nook (teen-friendly & insightful)

African and relatable reads that explore growth, pressure, and self-understanding.

Purple Hibiscus – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Pressure, silence, control, and finding your inner voice.

Chike and the River – Chinua Achebe

Planning, courage, problem-solving.

When Trouble Sleeps – Nani Boi (YA African fiction)

Emotional regulation and growth.

Final word (from someone rooting for you)

You don’t need to become a different person to succeed. You need better tools, kinder systems, and permission to learn how your mind works.

Executive functioning isn’t about willpower. It’s about support.

And asking for help? That’s not weakness.

That’s leadership in training.

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