By Atolagbe Oluwaseunfunmi
Scene: A small, dimly lit office. A hiring manager, Mr. Jennings, sits behind a desk cluttered with papers. Across from him sits Greg, a very nervous job applicant in his mid-30s. Greg is wearing a suit that looks too big.
Mr. Jennings (smiling): So, Greg, tell me why you think you’d be a good fit for this position.
Greg (sweating): Uh, well, I’m, uh, very adaptable. I can think on my feet, you know? Like, if something goes wrong, I… I improvise!
Mr. Jennings (nodding): That’s great to hear. Can you give me an example of when you had to think on your feet?
Greg (nervous laughter): Oh, sure! Just last week, I was at a dinner party, and, uh… well, the host ran out of utensils. So, I just grabbed a shoe and… uh, used it as a salad bowl. It worked perfectly!
Mr. Jennings (pauses, blinking): A shoe… as a salad bowl?
Greg (excitedly): Yep! Everyone was impressed! I even used the heel to stir the dressing. Talk about multi-purpose!
Mr. Jennings (trying to maintain composure): Hmm, that’s… certainly innovative. But, uh, can you tell me about your experience with teamwork?
Greg (leaning in, whispering): Oh, I’m fantastic at that too. Just last month, I helped a friend with a DIY project. We built a bookshelf… well, we tried to. But, uh, it collapsed halfway through. So, I said, “Why not use it as a modern art piece?” And, uh, it sold for 200 bucks at an auction!
Mr. Jennings (pauses, staring at Greg): Okay, Greg. Maybe… maybe we should stick to your resume for now.
Greg (grinning): Absolutely. You’ll love the part where I helped a raccoon fix a broken fence.
Atolagbe is of Blooming Heritage Secondary School, Abuja
